Life back at home.
I have been back in the US a month now and it feels different. I spent a little over two weeks in Michigan with my family and that was incredible. We got family portraits as we do about every year and aren’t my nephews the cutest (see pic below)?? They are so big now! Christmas was quiet, New Years was rowdy (not in the way you think) with my brother-in laws family and the same amount of kids as adults, January was time to slow down and appreciate the time with my family after being away for a year. It was so nice to be in my own bed, unpack my backpack, and have home cooked meals. It’s the little things I am extra grateful for now after being on the road for so long. I am learning not to take anything for granted and be satisfied with less.
One thing I learned is that I love traveling and being on the road, Michigan will always be my home base. That is where my family is. My anchor, my roots, my people. I haven’t lived in Michigan in 18 years, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t “home”. The only problem with Michigan…its cold. And the last year I have been in weather no colder than 50 degrees Fahrenheit. I have learned I need warmth and a beach nearby. At least Michigan has lakes.
What is next.
I am not 100% sure what is next, but I have an idea and a dream. What I do know is my stress levels and anxiety are at an all time low since leaving the corporate world and I intend to keep it that way. I sold everything that I own on Facebook Marketplace (well almost everything – if you need wall art or pots and pans let me know) except for about six boxes of clothes and valuables. I am working on getting those to Michigan to store for the meantime as that will be my home base. I do not want to pay for rent or storage while unemployed. Especially not Seattle rent prices…no way jose. I will be staying with friends and family for the time being while I apply for jobs, practice teaching yoga and figure out what is next.
Your newest yoga teacher.
On January 11, 2024 I officially became a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance!! I have dreamt of this for many years and I finally made it happen. Feels surreal. This gives me the freedom to teach anywhere in the world with teaching credibility. Now I just need practice teaching (that’s honestly the hardest part). I am making connections, continuing my studies on my own, stopping into yoga studios to see if they are hiring or have apprenticeship programs, and creating material for live and online classes. I have to start at the bottom but ready for the challenge.
Practicing yoga will never be the same. I know too much. I have a critical eye for both my own practice and the teacher. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I have high standards and know what goes into creating a sequence and teaching it. I am not saying I am a pro, because I AM FAR FROM IT, but I know a lot more than I used to. Knowing what to say, when, and in a timely manner is a lot harder than it seems. I have so much more respect for yoga teachers than I ever did before, even if they are not the best teacher I have ever had. It takes a lot of confidence, alignment knowledge, and spiritual comfortability to lead a good class. I know what it takes, so now I just need to take that knowledge and teach the best damn classes I know how.
Yoga study reflection.
In order to receive my Yoga Certification I had to complete a home study portion. I read Bringing Yoga to Life by Donna Farhi and wrote a self reflection on the book. I wanted to share it with all of you in hopes that you will find some relevance and encouragement you may not know you needed. Enjoy!
The author, Donna Farhi, brings up so many relevant topics to yogis and anyone interested in diving deeper into yoga. Topics we all struggle with like self doubt, distractions, handling emotions, loving others, and the like. Farhi has a way of bringing simplicity to complicated subjects and sharing anecdotes that drive the points home. As I was reading, I took several notes of things that stood out to me. As I reviewed those notes, I noticed a theme relating back to connecting to one’s inner self. This is something I have always struggled with. I am very self aware and dedicated when I set my mind to things, but sometimes those things do not run parallel. I know what I need to do, but often choose to ignore them. This book solidified that there are many things I still need to work on, starting with celebrating my inner beauty and focusing my energy on listening to the teacher inside of me!
Farhi also talks about moving from a student to an inner teacher to a certified teacher. I am certainly on that journey. I am a yoga practitioner heading into the season of teaching others what I have learned from previous and current teachers as well as myself. This is TERRIFYING. I need to have self compassion. I do not have the experience teaching like I do being a student and practicing yoga on my own. As a teacher I need to be a good listener, patient, observant, kind, and engaged. I struggle to be those things with myself, so how can I grow to demonstrate those attributes to others? I learned ways to do this through my yoga teacher training (YTT) and self study and how to take those attributes to have the same focus with other practitioners. It starts with truly knowing myself and what I am capable of then I can manifest that to be a great yoga teacher. I need to trust myself and know that everything I need is already inside me.
I recently finished what I would call the best year of my life. As you know, I visited 25 countries across six continents, making countless memories. Last December I was laid off from a very secure corporate role (by somewhat of a choice due to continued anxiety and unhappiness) and I knew in my heart I needed to make a change. I let my professional career run my life and while it taught me so much…it was no longer serving me. I decided to take a serious leap of faith and listen to my heart instead of my practical mind. This decision has severely altered my journey and started a self-love and discovery phase of my life.
When I started my yoga practice in 2019, I had no idea the profound changes it would have in my life. As a prior ballerina, I love the physical aspect and art of yoga, but what I didn’t know at the time was I was being shaped from the outside in. The traumatic event of losing my job jump started a journey of listening to my inner self and following happiness. Hindsight 2020 I realize this was not by chance, but perhaps the path I was meant to be on. After traveling the world and practicing yoga all over, I can confidently say that this is where I am supposed to be. I am still terrified and know I have a lot of work to do still with regards to self realization.
In the book there is a simple yet profound question that Farhi asks, “Who am I?” My response prior to traveling would have been “I have no idea”. I spent a lot of time on my travels alone. I had time to think, breathe without anxiety, and do things I love without distractions. It was incredible to discover more about myself and what really brought me joy. I do not know exactly who I am, but I am getting closer to figuring that out. The author mentions that inquiry and surrender are from the same source. My adventurous side is very inquisitive and I experienced that first hand this year. Now I need to learn to surrender to my true desires and not what society tells me I am supposed to be or do. I am a yogi, I am a teacher, I am compassionate, I am scared. But I have confidence that if I am true to myself, I am ready for whatever my next adventure is.
As a yoga teacher, I have the ability to change other people’s lives. The world I know and live in is so concerned about what other people think, how much money they have, what job they have, where they live, and what they drive. However, those things do not always bring happiness. In most cases it is the opposite. I want to help others realize the power of inner study; how to focus more on bettering themselves, how to appreciate what they already have vs. what they do not have, and how to be compassionate to themselves and therefore compassionate to others. I don’t have all the answers and I am still answering the question of “who am I?” But I am on the right path . Life is a journey with lots of ups and downs, but if we remain focused on ourselves (since we do not change internally) only our circumstances and how we react to them will change. If I have the tools mentioned in this book and in all the ancient texts of yoga, I am better able to navigate through life while being true to myself.
In conclusion, 2024 is for focusing on utilizing my learnings through inner reflection to bring them to the yoga studio as a teacher. I have a lot to learn but through books and yogi experts, self study and application, I can dig deeper into who I really am and what that means for me as a leader in the yoga community. I feel grateful, excited, and optimistic about what lies ahead. I know that if I am true to myself, my inner beauty will shine through!
The jen essentials for life back home.
- Family (I didn’t realize how much I missed them!)
- Jet’s pizza (if you know you know)
- Winter jacket (good thing my mom and sister have plenty since I haven’t worn one in a year)
- Home cooked meals (I got spoiled with all my favorite dishes per my request)
- My own bedroom (I forgot what privacy feels like)
- Facebook marketplace (I have sold almost everything I own in two weeks and made more money than I anticipated!)
- Grinning Yoga Studio (my Seattle based studio – man did I miss it and their amazing teachers)
- Meditation (every morning I spend 15 minutes with nothing but my thoughts and it is often the best part of my day)
- Sweatpants (boy did I miss wearing these)
- Peace (I am completely at peace and feel optimistic about my future)
Wrap it up jen.
When I got back home it felt as though nothing changed. Everything was familiar both in Michigan and Seattle. Except for maybe a few new stores and restaurants. While my surroundings were the same, I was not. I CHANGED! I have a new sense of gratitude for things, I don’t sweat the small stuff, I have different perspectives from all the places I have been and things I have seen, I feel at PEACE.
As I wrap up my Seattle chapter, I am saddened to leave some of my best friends but I smile when I think of all the amazing memories I have made here. It is easy to get overwhelmed with my situation. After all, I will be homeless in a week, I have no job, and I don’t have a set plan yet. I keep telling myself one step at a time. I do not have it figured out but I am oddly at PEACE with that. I will tell you my secret…yoga. The principles of yoga continuously teach me to be true to myself and have trust. For once in my life, I am not letting my career run my life. I am taking back my power and following my heart, as scary as that is. My PEACE will bring everything together as it should be.
Signing off for now,
Jennifer